BETTER DIVORCE

Adversarial divorce is an absurdly expensive, inefficient, and unfair way of settling a divorce.

The result of my legal practice spanning more than two decades has only reinforced my view that mediation must become the primary way couples negotiate their divorce settlements.

Having now watched thousands of couples go through divorce, I have seen many who have done well and many who have done poorly. By doing well, I mean that the divorce ended an unhappy relationship and launched the couple beck into the world as individuals equipped to cope and to build something new. The couples who did poorly are the ones who did not succeed in ending an unhappy relationship simply found a new way to relate destructively to each other. To an interminable marriage they added an interminable divorce-a divorce that became the primary influence in their lives and the lives of their children.

I believe that mediation is a superior way to negotiate a settlement; it does not work for everyone.

Preparing yourself!

How you divorce matters!

Even more remote, while Paul became even more sullen. He is bully, and I’ve had enough. Stayed because of inertia. There are a hundred ways that couples reach the decision to divorce.

The choices concern the manner in which you will divorce. Will it be bitter or civilized? Will you have an intensely adversarial divorce, or will you have a cooperative, even amicable, divorce? Will you attempt to vindicate the past or will you use your resources to build your separate futures? Will your children suffer emotionally or will you minimize the impact on them? Will your divorce be a mess or will it be a transition to new and better lives for you both? In other words, will you choose a “good” divorce or a bad divorce?

If one of you engages in war, it is very difficult for the other not to retaliate. In divorce, few partners “turn the other cheek”. One of you may want an amicable divorce but may believe (correctly or not) that the other is too angry or too vindictive to make it possible. This is a particularly trying time because you are separated and single on one level, but still married and together. In this time of confused and mixed signals, it is easy to offend each other. Even genuine initiative by one party may be

- To understand and accept the reality of breakdown of marriage - Exploring possibilities to build on the things you both agree - In situations when both of you are neither physically and mentally together nor legally separated, realise that you are still capable of limited co-operating which is enough but essential for divorcing decently.

Better Divorce Process

Every parting has its of sadness. Divorce decision is hard to take and difficult to implement.

One should understand that there are several throughout his/her life. Divorce is unique that it is a transition process which might completely transform of our life- to good or bad – depending on how you put the things in right perspective.

Initial shocks will always be there for anyone whether you have planed it over a time or not. But even after passing over this phase, many questions may be playing your mind like;

(Add) FAQ on divorce
How to face the child/children?
Added to this is the question on what life will have in store for you after divorce,
How your image with friends and relations will be affected?

How to with this new status of ‘divorce’ with your colleagues?..... so on and to forth!

Well, one simple thing to do is to first consult a good psychologist (note: Not a psychology and speak to him/her about all your problems.

Infact, consulting a psychologist even before taking the decision on divorce prepare your to acquire the emotional for a good negotiation.

Unless this is done, there is always a chance to have misunderstanding lose many other relationships especially with the one who might have mediated between you and your spouse for a possible good settlement.

Consulting a psychologist also helps on to understand the realities of divorce.

After all, life never begins with one person: we needed our father and mother, to be in this world!

So it gives: life is not over with the marriage or divorce!
There are millions of successful people who had divorced even twice or thrice!

- Economic aspects
- Emotional aspects Relationship, Friends, etc Security
- Social aspects
- Cultural aspects
- Legal aspects – All that you need to know
Divorce is the only option? About divorce law in India
- Judicial separation
- Registration of conjugal rights
- Etc….

Types of divorce: contested or ‘No fault’.. Fine issues: Child custody (Page 101) Guidelines on finding a good lawyer.